Friday, July 25, 2014

My painful memories

“You know, through pain, you learn a lot about yourself--things you thought you never knew you wanted to learn. And it's kind of like those animals that regrow a part of their body--like a starfish. You might not feel it. You might not even want to grow, but you will. You'll grow that part that broke off, and that growing, that blooming--cannot happen without the pain.” 
― Kelle HamptonBloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected--A Memoir

Everybody in the world has experiences. Experience or moment is something that happens in our life. With experiences that we go through, people learn to be more matured person. As we grow older, there will be more challenge that we have to facing it in our life. Life is beautiful but not always easy. It has problems too and the challenge lies in facing them with courage. Difficulties test the courage, patience, perseverance and true character of a human being. There is no human being on Earth who are strong, powerful, wise or rich, who does not have any experienced, struggle, suffering or failure. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

Everybody around me seemed very sad. Especially my mother and my siblings. It is such a heartbreaking news for them but for me, that time I was just a little kid that doesn't know anything and doesn't know what is it mean by real life is. Being a young girl of merely four years old. I really never understood the meaning of death or the purpose of death. All I could understand that not only uninvited death but it words cannot describe it. It took away my parents from me. 

It was tragic when I was four years old. My father had passed away because of heart attack. As I remembered, when I slept one night, I heard a women's crying. I rushed to the voice to observed what had happen. I saw my mother was crying beside my lying father. I asked my mother what had happened. It was the miserable moment when my mother said that my beloved father had passed away and left us forever. When I heard that, I rushed to my sister's room to tell them about it. That night had become a nightmare to my whole family when I came face to face with death and how much I despises it. I cried myself that night and many nights that followed. Becoming an orphan at the young age was something that was never dreamed for any children. 

I thought of all the good time we had together. He was such a bubbly, energetic, funny, charming, responsible and awesome man that I had ever known. He was my idol when I was a little girl. He is a good father for his sons and gorgeous man in my world. He such a caring father for me. His life seemed perfect but I know that I had to accept his death and go on for my life. In one fine day, something happened that changed my entire life. Unfortunately, my mother got an accident when she was on her journey with my aunty to the town. I can still vividly remember when I was in my house with my sisters, a cousin of mine came to our house and informed us about the accident. We were very shocked and rushed to the ICU unit in Hospital Serdang. It was very sad  moment when the doctor said that my mother could not be saved anymore. When dawn came, the villagers took my mother's body corpse home. The moment that I really could not forget was when my mother's body was bathed. It really makes me sad when I saw my mother's body being buried. 

It took quite sometime for me to get over it and this is my painful moments that I had to faced it in my life. Now, I am learning to accept the ups and downs in life. Everything that happens have been created. Life must go on. God, the Almighty has His own plan for each and everyone. I guess that whatever happens, it is fated. I praised to the Almighty for all the gratitudes that has been blessed over me. 

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